Living the Life (the one you actually have)

Somehow I need to learn how to function in my day when my schedule is off.  I have such a hard time bouncing back when we are out late, up late, running late.  


When I am in those times I tell myself:

 "this isn't me, I don't live this way." 

Yet, I can't seem to get around the fact that I am there in that place saying that bit of nonsense to myself. 

Ha! It's comical really. 


Me, with my 6 kids, juggling the voices within myself; the controlling one that knows that I can make everything run just so and the reasoning one that tells me that I can live my life and enjoy it too!

Where is a mother to find the balance in it all?

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. - Deut. 6:5-9

The chapter before this is the 10 Commandments, a list of rules to live by that speaks well to my structured mind! Then, the pages turn to chapter 6, in this chapter it begins to dig deep... it is talking about my heart, my soul, my might, my very being. It goes on to talk about being in the land and being happy, comfortable and forgetting the Lord and all He has done. 

When I look into my life, my schedules, my plans, my intentions, 

my pastors wife, mom of 6 kids, wanna look like I got it all together image...

and then I turn my head, eyes and heart to these verses, I find that I have it all wrong.

Love the Lord your God.

It begins in the heart, digs deep to the soul, fires up the might so that no amount of keeping it all together seems to matter. 

Then, and only then, comes the intentional day by day walking with and teaching my children wonder that God  speaks of here. It can't be a way of life until it's made it's way into my heart, my soul, my might, my very being.

So I have just this one task - 

to immerse myself so fully in the heart impacting knowledge of the greatness of my God that I can't help but be enamored with Him. 

When I have been captured by all that my God has done and is doing - His commands will be on my heart and in my mind. His commands will be my aim.

I'll just pencil that in right now... ;)