Thursday, June 30, 2011

From My Heart


Every Thursday evening I sit here in front of my computer and I have a struggle. 

Do I write from my heart or do I write what is safe? Do I dare open up and reveal the true me, my opinions and passions? Does anyone read any of this anyway, does it even matter?

I am living such a blessed life right now. I am living out my dream right now, I don’t have a guarantee that things will always be as they are now. Just around the corner could be something that is going to shake my world, dare I not share from the heart while I am able?

I know that my husband is gone a lot. I know that we live a very busy life.  I hope that I have not portrayed that I am a victim, that I am trapped, stuck or left behind in all of this.

Many of you know that I NEVER wanted to be a pastor’s wife.  I actually prayed against it (I don’t recommend that.) I feel as though I walked into this role with my eyes wide open.  It has been a long road to get where I am now.  For many years I did feel trapped, stuck and left behind.

No longer.

What am I passionate about?

I am passionate about my role as a woman as a help and supporter of my husband, my principles and priorities are constantly being buffeted by that conviction.

I am passionate about the gospel going forth, brought about by regular people living their regular lives in sold out, lives laid down ACTION for Christ.  Go unto every nation and PREACH is a command to all and I can’t with clear conscience spend too many weekends tending to earthly desires for material things or even just family activities.

I am passionate about raising children that serve and follow Christ with all their lives in all they do. To be disciplined, orderly and also be spontaneous and risk takers for Jesus.  To love and reach out to those around them. To have eyes to see and a spirit to discern the needs of hurting people. I want other families to see what we do and not be afraid to take out their children and serve God alongside them. To do the “home work” so that their children are ready and capable to do their kingdom work.

And mixed with these passions are daily life and failure.  I want order, so I yell at the kids, I need peace so I strain at my husband. My plans don’t go my way and I get so caught up in the “I” that I for get THE ONE that I’m doing it all for. My passions are all for nothing if my sin and pride overshadow and overtake.

Yes, I am home. Yes, I have 6 kids. Yes, the daily-ness of it all does get tedious.

But, these convictions and passions burn deep in my heart and it’s so difficult because I am not a communicator – not as clear as I’d like. Not through speech.

My intentions, the burning in my heart is to tell nothing else but Jesus Christ and Him crucified and to bring Glory to my God. My prayer is that those intentions are what shine through and that people don’t just see a crazy lady with a lot of kids and no husband.  My deepest desire is to spend my life busy about the Lord’s work.  Now that is living a dream.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Body of Christ

I recently witnessed a miracle.  This post is a revised version of a note that I sent to Luan Sy.

Hi Luan,

I wanted to tell you what I have seen and observed and how blessed I am that you are alive!

On Saturday night we were in Huntington with the young adults when I got the call from my mom about Jeanne's FB post. We immediately left the beach, dropped off the kids and drove to St. Jude.

I was blessed to be one of the few that saw you, laid hands on you and prayed for you. I looked into Mike's eyes. I knew that he was saying there was hope, but I could tell he was steeling himself for whatever journey might lay ahead. There was something about his eyes, that even Pastor Bob mentioned on Wednesday night. Eyes of a man who knows too much I suppose.

Then we went downstairs and the waiting room was filled with a CROWD of people wanting to see you. The ICU nurses should give us a gold star for keeping all these anxious people from going up there! 

We gathered and prayed and CRIED. Men, women, everyone cried together to our great God for you and your sweet family.

I wanted to take a picture for when you woke up, but I forgot. :)

I was getting texts and calls and emails like crazy, people everywhere praying. In fact, someone from my homeschool group, that I hardly know, asked me how you were doing yesterday!

This deeply impacted many and many were up in the night sleepless and in prayer.

The Young Marrieds ministry will never be the same, we've been to a place together spiritually that has forever changed us and deeply impacted our faith.

God is SO GOOD.

Please know that you are well loved and cared for by the body of believers at CCEA!

Rest well and don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings! I'm pretty sure you can do no wrong right now! Haha!

Take care Mama!



Thursday, June 16, 2011

90 Days of Blessing

"They call me Miss Katie Ann when they respond to me."  

She speaks these words to me as she tears open another note and reads words of thanks and blessing.

"If prayer is so effective, why don't we do more of it?!"
she exclaims in wonder as we go about our daily chores.

My daughter is on a 90 day journey to bless others and is being showered with blessings in return.

Last summer I went on a different 90 day journey - to read through my bible in 90 days.  I planned all year to repeat that challenge again this summer, but as the time drew near I felt like God was calling me to something different this summer.

After much prayer, the Lord put together this idea in my mind:

90 days of prayer for 90 different people.

Katie Ann saw me with my calendar and cards and jumped on board, creating her own list of 90 people to pray for and write to.

Here is what we are doing:


  1. Print a calendar for June, July & August.
  2. Put categories in front of each week; family, teachers, pastors, etc. and fill in people for each day of each week for 3 months.
  3. Gather cards, stamps, index cards, pens and a church directory/address book.

  1. Pray for the person on that date
  2. Read the Proverb for that date: June 3rd/Proverbs 3
  3. Write a prayer in a prayer journal
  4. Write on index cards any verses that stand out to you for that person
  5. Write a note to that person, complete with addressing the envelope and adding the stamp
  6. Walk on over to the mailbox!

The blessings that have been poured back on us as we see God answer prayer in the lives of those we are praying for have been overwhelming. Katie Ann is so diligent, even writing to and praying for people as we were riding in the car on a road trip. :)

If you decide to take a 90 day journey, comment me and tell me what you are doing! :)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A Boy to Japan

I would like to share with you some things I am learning as a mother. I have not finished this journey (do we ever?) and so I don't like to share anything as absolutes, but I would like to share what I am observing in my own children at this time.

It can be summed up in this one phrase: Faith, real faith needs opportunity to be exercised, and our children are not excluded from that.

The best times in my children's lives and development with the Lord have been in those times when we have given them the opportunity to challenge and use their faith.

This has been a slow process as we patiently wait for a specific child's bent and talent to be revealed and then we nurture and grow that talent in use for God's glory. We are very intentional and prayerful about this for each of our children.

My little Josiah's journey is just blossoming and I'd like to share his story with you.

My little Jojo was a clingy baby.  Like no other child I have had, he was large and clingy and stubborn. :)  I would hold him as he cried as a baby for hours singing "Here I am to Worship" which became his song and a tender one to this mama's heart.

He would cry in the nursery for the entire service, angry that I would dare leave him.  At home he was constantly by my side.  At around 2 years old, he showed an interest in The Wiggles, I fed that interest!  30 minutes of freedom for these arms! :) This turned into a love for worship and the songs and hand motions at church, but like the Wiggles, he soon grew out of this.

Through the years he has been somewhat aloof.  Not wanting to be in the spotlight, not feeling comfortable with attention, not knowing his place, always a middle child. :)

All of this changed in January.

One early morning in January, I prayed for this boy specifically.  I ask the Lord to PLEASE give him a purpose, some way in which to serve Him.

The next day, he took out a Break Free DVD that had been given to Tony and started break dancing.

He hasn't stopped dancing since.  His mentor and teacher loves JESUS and keeps him on track, always reminding him that we do this for GOD'S GLORY and in HIS name and not our own. My boy has watched people profess faith at events that he takes direct part in. My boy who would not leave my side now dancing in front of hundreds of people - peers, strangers, drunks at Huntington Beach :)!

At the end of May, Tony received more vacation time and God opened the doors for he and Josiah to go to Japan.

Then the faith work really began.

My boy had to pray and seek God as to whether or not he could go on this trip, spending endless time in the "peaceful spot" in our house reading his bible (the book of Colossians), reading his devotional and praying.  It brought a smile to my face and joy to my heart to hear him ask: "Dad, where is that prayer list for Japan? I need it." Then, he proceeded to go to the peaceful spot and pray! This has continued, day after day.

He is sending out support letters all on his own (we always have a stack of them around so he knows what they are!) tirelessly writing them out by hand, listing each prayer request one by one.

It's a scary balance, urging this child in his talent, reminding him it's for God - all at a young age.  It reminds me of that old song by DC Talk "What if I Stumble." I understand that and I take it very seriously and to prayer.

But if you're going to live recklessly - live recklessly for Jesus,

if you're gonna take a risk - take it for God.

So here we go.

Keep my boy in your prayers.

God is so faithful.